Micheal !

I feel so.. happy.

Smile smile smile.

FUUUDGE

I am on msn, video call with Mr Miiiiike and I am incredibly happy about it.

I made fudge earlier and burned myself, it was fairly typical of me to do. It was starting to set already and ad jus come off the stove, so i thought it was all good and ignored my mothers warnings that alhough i was alreay setting, it was still very hot... and i grabbed a chunk which burned my finger which i shoved in my mouth with the fudge when it then burned my tongue and i spat it out on the floor...
My mothre laughed and said "I told you so" lol


anyways thats my blog for today.

glorious..

I heard Shelly mutter "I hope you die" today... and I don't know if it was too me or if I'm hearing things but I loved it... kind of. I also found out that I am no longer guaranteed a job, I'm just there for as long as they need me... which after the 3 week break will only be a maximum of 2 months so YAY for Valerie, I might be moving to Hamilton a lot sooner then planned... But oh well, shit happens. I'm destined to find what I'm supposed to do sooner or later. If not today then there is always tomorrow. Until of course, 2012 when the world is supposed end. Seriously, what is up with that shit? How can you enjoy life knowing when you're going to die or when everyone else is going to die. Personally, I think it's a load of crap and if anything we'll just end up being over run by Asians(no offense) and robots who want nothing more then to enslave us, oh irony.

I'm currently listening to the first Ice Age and loving it and I'm also sitting on my bed in my underwear wondering why I put so much effort into this silly little thing when I don't want anybody to ever read it... One day, one day everyone will read this and nothing will be a secret but that's the internet for you. Tomorrow at work I am expected to do nothing, I am ever so excited and have no idea why I am still awake, perhaps it is the insane amount of sugar I have taken in within the past hour or two.

I definitely had a good weekend but now that's it over I'm not too sure I'm happy with myself. No regrets mind you, shit happens. I just hope it does in fact turn into more because even though I'm not going to get my hopes up and I'm going to try not get to upset with rejection once more, I really think that there is something there. BOYSBOYSBOYS! I met this guy on OkCupid and he's all talking to me all the time and I'm not sure why, but he is definitely hitting on me but OH WELL... At this point in time, I'm not even sure I want a relationship. I've enjoyed going up to Hamilton every weekend and partying with Valerie and hanging out with Mike too boot is even more fun but I don't know if its right for me... If Hamilton is right for me. Am I supposed to work for the rest of my life? Do I go to college(I'm going no matter what)? What do I go for? I don't want to go because if I'm either a) going to drop out of, b) fail, c) not enjoy what ever I do, it really won't be worth it because I don't have the money to waste or the family support to make any of those mistakes/choices.

Either way, that was just a little venting and I am in fact going to Mohawk College next fall in Hamilton for... something! Whether it be PSW(health sciences), Civil Engineering or Social Service Worker... I don't know, it just depends what I can get into really.

I have been told by three guys in the past 2 days that I am beautiful/pretty/gorgeous/etc and I'm not sure if I should believe them, its not that my confidence is that incredibly low that I can't tkae a compliment, it's just that my trust for guys is like... 0.25%.. for everyone really. There are a couple exceptions to people mind you.

Well, I really need to catch some shut eye, the morning comes sooner then I like... I'm not even sure who exactly I am talking to lol but I do however need a serious hobby or a personal diary rather then this online public notice of my life and its many quirks.

Ode to Gramps ♥

So, I’m sitting here singing “Jesus take the wheel” as loud as I possibly and yes, it’s on repeat.

I managed to put my new bed together, organize things in my room and half clean it. It is still a pit but cleaner, no less. I never realized how many blankets and pillows I actually had until today… I have 3 comforters, 2 huge fleece blankets, 3 medium fleece blankets and 1 small one. I have 5 decorative fuzzy pillows, 2 body pillows, 5 large pillows and the pretty pathetic looking one my mom made me when I was a baby… A 4 foot tall teddy bear, a 4 foot long banana and 2 teddies. My bed is very comfy. Yay!

While cleaning today I found a poem I wrote last year for Gramps… He passed away January 25, 2007.

The poor girl weeps

The old man dies

The family grieves

The sea comes alive

A heart still beating

A memory untouched

A man, cremating

He was loved so much

To times that won

Your heart and mind

To times his daughters and his son

Never had to find

A man so bold

A man so great

It is us he is to hold

When we get through those gates

He’ll be waiting for us all

He’ll be preparing his greeting

It is we, who must call

Who must keep his heart beating

Lest we forget our Grampy ♥

By Jori Doek

October 19, 2007

12.31am

For his service I chose to present a piece of writing that I had prepared especially for this day and it goes like this;

His smile and his grace

All the happiness he placed

The sunshine he pinned in our minds.

With or without a spoon on his nose

My great grandfather and the wife he chose

Brought beauty and love to this world

They are the creators that God sent

To make this amazing family

Gramps isn’t dead, he will never die

He will be alive forever in our hearts and our minds

If you cry, cry for his love

If you cry, cry with a smile

Laugh, cry, hug, kiss, hold and love

Gramps wouldn’t want us to be sad

He will be waiting for every single one of us

Don’t you worry about that.

In his big sailboat

He floats in the sky

Waving to us, making us cry

Miss him and cry for him but remember

Gramps has not died

It is the memories

The pictures, the fun that we had

The love we hold for him

They keep him alive

By Jori Doek

January 27, 2007

God is our protection and our strength. He always helps in times of trouble – Psalm 46:1

The one thing I’ll always remember about Gramps is that no matter how sad or gloomy the day, he always brightened it up by simply stating “today is a wonderful day”.

In the bible King Solomon says, “Good people enjoy the positive results of their words” – Proverbs 13:2

That’s my Gramps, my great grandfather. He was always ready to greet others with a warm welcome, a word of encouragement, enthusiasm for the task at hand and a positive outlook on the future. Solomon also says that “a cheerful heart is good medicine” – Proverbs 17:22 My Gramps was the best medicine of all.

To conclude this all, I would love to rant on about my weekend but I really don't feel up to it right now. I had a great time with great friends and I hope it doesn't end here... I already want the holidays to end just so I can know...

foxes den ; ]

Last night Mike called me wasted. It made my night and I loved it. It was kind of weird at first but then it was funny and kind of drunkenly sweet. Kirby took my phone and started talking to him and he told her that I was hot and his logic was that if I was hot, and shes my sister**, then she must be hot too! It was hilarious and made my night.

Kelcey is now home foreverzzzz!

**I basically lived with the Steinhoff's for my entire high school years and I was soon drafted into the family. So I now have, after 6 years of living/celebrating family events/vacationing/etc, 3 sisters and 3 brothers. 2 older sisters, Kirby and Kelcey(both adoptees). 1 older brother, Matthew(biological). 1 younger sister, Kendall(adoptee). And 2 younger brothers, Cody(biological) and James(adoptee).

Today was a very sexual day.

-First thing in the morning at the bathroom sink-
Sharon - "I can't get it out"
Jori - "That's what she said"

-Sharon is double checking welds on part, Jori is making sure nuts on part are in good working order-
Sharon - "Can you check this nut for me"?
Jori - "Oh, you want me to screw the nut for you and tell you if he's any good"?

-Jori is holding two screws-
Sharon - "Hey Rory, wanna screw"?
Rory - "What"?
Jori - "Wanna screw, two for one deal, Thursdays only"!
Rory - *shakes head and blushes*

-Chris comes by our cell with 3 SRG people, I'm still checking nuts-
Jori - "Hey Chris, wanna screw"?
Chris - "What"? *laughs*
Jori - "Wanna screw? I've been screwing things all day"!
Chris - "I think I'll stick around here a little longer" *giggles*

-New girl(Denise) is learning-
Denise - "Ow, I burned myself"
Sharon - "Bet she touched those nuts"
Jori - *giggles*
Sharon - "You only touch the big nuts once"!
Jori - *dies*

-Putting gauges onto part to check measurements-
Jori - "these are huge"
Sharon - *giggles*

-Doing paper work in the team room, Bobby and Pat are hot gluing fiberglass sheet with hole in middle-
Bobby - "this is hot and sticky"
Jori - "hahaha hot and sticky"
Bobby - *grins*

-Still doing paperwork-
Jori - "Our parts per hour is supposed to be 69"?
Sharon - "Yeah, but we got 62"
Jori - "...I wonder what 62 looks like"
Bobby - *giggles and grins*
Sharon - "Oh Jori" -laughs-

So I had a wonderful day and whats even better is that I am on Amber shift come the New year so I am incredibly excited about that except for the fact that Sharon is on Blue which means... POLAR OPPOSITE :( Sharon is my work life. BUT I will become reaquainted with all the aquaintences I made when I started :D

Shelly(my crazy trainer), has lightened up a bit and seems to be more accepting of me and my idiocy. Yay! We get along.. or rather, tolerate each other, much better now. Its fairly nice but I am stuck working with her for the next 3 months, which is the only possible downside of being on the Amber shift. I learned a new cell yesterday and today and as it turns out, said cell, makes two different parts and watching the machine change the jig itself is pretty wicked! Annnnd come the new year, Shelly and I will be running, as a team(one runs the machine, one double checks parts), these two cells, making 3 different parts a day. And how? WHO FUUUREAKIN KNOWS! lol...

I loved today. The only downside is the fact that I am currently cold and Copeland is busy doing stuff. I took pictures like the little camera whore I am, and I loved it. I deleted most of them.

♥

ohla !

This past weekend was awesome.

I am for shizzle in like i guess.

I was cleaning cages at the PetSmart in Ancaster and a cat got under a cage and I reached to egt him and I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and neck then when I was getting up I went face first into a cage door. Ow. Then I went to go buy a hot choclate from Second Cup and I had no cash and no debit card and I was spending the weekend in Hamilton. Idiot.

I think I loath Rick. A lot.

I'm beginning to regret a lot of things in life. Nothing too recent though.

On saturday I took Mike Copeland to a staff party thing and it was pretty awesome. He drove my car and I could've cried but I was drunk, he was wearing my favorite color and it was necessary. After, we went to two more parties. I did not enjoy the last one. After, we went back to Tyler's and Copeland and I didn't really sleep much because I never stop talking. How annoying of me. Either way, I enjoyed my company.

I enjoy going to Hamilton every weekend, I missed my Valerie way too much! Can't believe that shit!

SO... I have also decided that my new trainer hates me and is planning a large conspiracy against me but thats ok because I seem to get along with everybody else. She is training a new guy now too and I am the double checker.. whoopy but its apparently a good thing because SRG aren't allowed to double check not to mention this is only my fourth week so praise the heavens, I might have a real job in 2 more months! My trainer is definately sexist. She hates me, me is girl, him is boy... she likes him. She has been happy since he has been in our cell and she actually shipped me off for an hour or so today. She seemed very happy about that. Oh well.

I made a lasagna like a while ago and I should probably go eat it...

mowgli ♥

So friday I decided to cut my hair and just grabbed the front chunk, twisted and cut... mutilating my bangs and surrounding hair. To make matters worse I thought that I would try to layer the sides in an attempt to "blend". Thus cutting chunks out of my side hair and looking ridiculous. My grandmother tried to fix it last night and now I have bangs and chunky sides. Kind of like a really bad mullet. YAY!

Anyways... Rick is being a tool as always and I'm not beiung very nice so he thinks I hate him now.

(See photo) Valerie and Tyler saved kitties!! And they kept one and called him Mowgli and he is so cuuuute!!! I'm excited to meet him and I am so proud of them for being so brave and awesome!!!! I had a wonderful weekend with Valerie and I hope I have plenty more.

Work is pretty awesome... I'm now on straight mornings instead of nights bi-weekly and junk. I got moved to a different cell and its slower paced but the part is bigger and more awkward and it's a Delta S cell which means it is a very important job and our welds have to be double checked because of this. We are making safety parts for vehicles which is why it is so important. If these welds fail, we are at fault... kind of... and either way we don't want anybody to die because we made crappy parts !!!! Oh dear, listen to me... I sound like I've worked there WAY longer then 2 weeks... hahaha

Future plan.

1. Get rid of Neon
2. Get full time at Toyotetsu
3. Save lots of money
4. Get accepted to Mohawk for something
5. Quit job mid-summer ish
6. Move to Hamilton
7. Hang out with Valerie(and Jess) all the time
8. Go to college and be cool
9. Throughout all this I will find a boy my age who likes me and is cute.. Valerie better help! LOL
10. I will also visit Cassie an ass load

♥

I really need to get a hobby.

1000 years in a landfill and you still don't disintegrate !!!!!

Soooo.. Friday after I did my volunteering in Ancaster, which by the way was awesome because Lesley showed up and I wasn't alone for once, I went to Valerie's and she took me to a party and it was baaaaalling. I got incredibly drunk. It was apparently amusing.. I don't really do parties or new people but I didn't really have any trouble for once :P When Valerie, Tyler and I got to the party we hung out in Jay's room and a bunch of guys were in it and this guy Brad passed me a guitar and I had to jam out without a pick because they can't play and they were all excited because I could hahahaha... I sucked. Then we moved to the living room, which smelled a lot like pot but I'm not going to point any fingers or assume any smells, where Valerie, Shawn T and I watched Tyler and Brad play Sonic the Hedgehog on Dream Cast. Needless to say it was fantastically amusing. Then I went to the kitchen to get my drink on and this girl, Bridget, made me my very first Jager Bomb... I drank against Jay and they were all chanting, "Jay, you're winning!" and as soon as they said that I slammed my cup down in sweet victory... he still had half a glass and was all, "that tasted so gross". I loved it! The night is a little hazy after that and I'm probably going to forget stuff and put it in the wrong order! 

We ended up downstairs playing "gravy train", which is a card game... I was the gravy train every time because I fail and the first time I was the gravy train I was SO excited.. and then I found out that being the gravy train is not a good thing... How typical of me to get all excited lol... I out drank those pussy boys with their beer! Hahahaha, actually I'm probably just being full of myself but I drank like half a 26er in probably an hour or two... That for me, especially lately, is impressive. ANYWAYS... I slapped people a lot and laughed... I fell a lot and Brad and Valerie took some pretty good care of me. Brad is a babe. Valerie is too but well, I'm into guys. Bridget kept trying to get me to kiss her and uhhh, no. I kept calling Copeland a balding bitch because I am an asshole... I apologized a lot for that though... I slipped on liquid a lot and every time I would go to the bathroom there was no toilet paper so I complained to Shawn T and he gave me my own personal roll and I wanted to make it into bling... it wasn't long before I forgot it existed though... Copeland video taped part of the night and I'm pretty excited to see it :D LOL... I didn't want to leave because I was all comfy on the couch beside Brad lol... OH! I punched the wall and made a hole bigger and cut my hand and three knuckles... It was so fun. The middle knuckle wouldn't stopped bleeding and there is blood all over my winter coat know hahaha... So I also stole Tyler's shoes and I tried to run away and I actually got away and went outside screaming penis... Brad was drinking wine and was being all fancy about it by drinking it straight from the bottle. How classy! I've probably forgot a bunch of stuff but oh well...

On the walk home I wrote a profound N-shot of a word on some ones car and they erased it and I was sad but it still really funny. Tyler was off getting angry at a mail box as I was chasing a water bottle screaming, "1000 years in a landfill and you still don't disintegrate, you bastard!" and I gave it a couple intense kicks. I fell a lot and made a snow angel and got a mud streak on my buttock. Valerie got all angry and I got all sad then I called my mom and she was happy to hear from me and laughed at my drunkenness and Valerie assured her that I was going to be a-ok! 

When we got back to Valerie's I ate a lot of chips and some bread, Tyler went to sleep and Valerie and I watched lots of TV and did a ton of catching up. When we woke up I dropped Tyler off at home and Valerie and I went and picked up Brad from Shawn T's house and headed to Old Navy where only Valerie bought something haha... We dropped off Brad then headed to her place where we passed out. When we woke up we went to Lick's and it was amazing... of course! Then we headed to Williams Coffee Pub and Rachel, Sihaam and Jesse were working and it was so exciting!! I got hugs from all three and Rachel even made me TWO free drinks. It was exciting. Then I dragged Valerie to see my grandparents and that was a lot of fun... Then we went and picked up Tyler who took forever to get ready and then we went back to Valerie's and chilled out for like an hour and a bit before deciding we should hang out at Tyler's for the night because her roommates were having a party and we are all tired. Its not like its 1:22am or anything... lol... Anyways... we were going to watch Kung-Foo panda, or how ever you spell it but instead we are going to sleep... Yay!!!!

I enjoyed my weekend a lot.

Jori ♥'s Valerie

i'm buying milk !

Last night I ran into Adam Ferrara at the Real Canadian STUPIDstore and he was all, "i'm buying milk" and I replied with, "well I'm grocery shopping because I'm awesome"... We laughed then walked our separate ways.

I RSVPed for The Williams Coffee Pub Christmas Party and I'm taking Cassie because I was trying to figure out who to take then I decided I would go alone until I remembered how much Cassie loves Williams. It was fait that I got invited and Cassie loves that place! (I love it to)

Last night I also moved everything in my room and it was hell and I broke my wardrobe so thats never being moved again... Its not like it broke my back and took me an hour to move anyways. I need to finish cleaning it today before I go do Adoptions in Ancaster(kitties, not kids)... I'm getting rid of a bunch of stuff... And taking a bag of pants to my grandmothers place for her to maybe fix for me since she loves me so so so very much.

My tongue hurts.

After I am done cleaning I plan to shower and then go buy orange juice, it will be amazing. I really don't feel like claening right now, my mother is mad at me because I wouldn't drive money to Mohawk college, then go to Ancaster then back to Hamitlon... I felt bad after but I don't know how to get anywhere from anywhere... and I'm broke and don't have all the gas in the world. I felt bad after but she had already left so I couldn't do it even if I wanted to because Mrs Grumpy-pants thinks I'm directionally skilled when I'm really truly directionally challenged. Last time I went to do adoptions I got lost on my way home and I had directions. I somehow ended up in Brantford then in some place I have never heard of that was almost near WOODSTOCK! I apparently took a very very wrong route... I eventually got home from brantford like 2 hours later.

My cat is lying across my arms and it is making it very difficult to write. I feel frustrated for some reason.

Anyways... I'm going to spend the weekened at Valerie's and that should be awesome, my cat is now trying to lay on my hands and I want to throw her, maybe thats why I'm frustrated, because of my pussy?

Later.

"they're huge"

Monday night, yes after all that drama, Rick decided that he wanted to date me and me only but that he didn't want it to be serious. I told him I had to think about it and he got all defensive and angry. Tuesday night he decided that he wanted to date me but that he didn't want to be with me. When I told him I would give him another cahnce he decided that he no longer wanted to date me because I'm ready to settle down and he isn't. AS IF I AM :S! Anyways... He wants to be with me, he wants to date me but at the same time he doesn't want to be with me or date me but he misses me and still wants me and how does this work???!

Yesterday I was opening my apple sauce at lunch and I opened it a little too vigorously and it managed to splatter on my right boob, stomach and crotch. I sat there in shock, started laughing but kept my head down and then the guys I sit with noticed and started laughing which made me start laughing more almost to the point of tears. It then soaked through to my undies. How wonderful :) Then this man of mid-thirties... we'll call him Dan because I don't recall his name... reached over and snapped a picture before I could wipe it up. The table was also a mess. After all this I still managed to have half a container of apple sauce left... Hahaha... How? I do not know... Then I was at the Humane Society trailer cleaning kennels and I managed to catch my right index finger on a cage and cut it, fairly deep, under my nail. I have since cut more nail off then is tolerable, but in order for it to heal it is needed, my finger now talks sometimes and it's mouth is a very dark pink.

Today work was sooooo boring. I probably had about 2 hours of production time ALL DAY and had to clean and sweep random areas and let me tell you, it was funtastic... And I'm lying. Then I got dragged into this dark conference room for a 2 and a half hour meeting and I fell asleep more then once... and more then twice... more times then I noticed in fact... Not that any of that matters. I have an uber little girl crush on my trainer who is currently not single and hasn't been for 3 years, oh damn! Lol... oh well. We had a break in the middle of this meeting and I stretched by lifting my arms and leaning back over my chair therefore presenting my relatively large, but covered, breasts. I did not notice this until Andy and Dan(man whos name I cannot recall) commented, telling me to do it again. Andy pointed out that "they're huge, man" and Dan laughed and said "what size are you? You're either a large C or a small D" and I sat there scowling of course. Andy piped up, "Let me guess! C 36!?".. Well, wasn't he one lucky SOB for guessing right. He was ever so proud of himself LOL... I admit, it was amusing.

ANYWAYS! Now I am listening to Akon-Smack That Ass and hoping it will be over soon... I will then be heading on a merry adventure with Kylee-poo <3 to the grocery store, Food Basics of course, in hopes to encounter an enemah!

12 years old in a 33 year old body

So, new drama already and it's only 7pm.

I was talking to Justin tonight and I asked him if he told Chuck Bob that he wouldn't date me because he thought I was unhappy and he BLEW UP! Saying Chuck Bob is a liar that he never said that and hes sick of all the lies! He sent a nasty Wall Post on FACEBOOK to Chuck Bob and put MY NAME IN IT saying "First with Edge now Jori..." and I fucking snapped telling him to get my name the fuck out of that comment and I told him not to put my name in it in the first place and I told him not to even write the fucking note to begin with because Chuck Bob would come after me because of it !!!!! Well he fucking posted it with MY NAME IN IT and he was a fucking douche about it. We all know he has a thing for Rikki and we all know she had a little girl crush on him but we all know that Edge won't let anything happen there but Justin fucking flipped when Chuck Bob got involved because he was trying to protect his friend. So a combination of that and me asking if he wouldn't date me before because I he thought I was unhappy (which by the way is what he told me to begin with so I KNOW he said it to Chuck Bob) he fucking wrote this nasty ass wall post acting like the big man on campus and I made him fucking delete it and take my name out of it and then he went and re-fucking-posted it!!!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING TARD BITCH! I told him if he posted it Chuck Bob would come after me first asking what the fuck I did when I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!! And he wouldn't fucking lsiten he just got smart with me telling me that if I didn't stop telling him to delete it and didn't stop swearing at him for writting it that he wasn't going to talk to me anymore. WELL GUESS WHAT!?!?!?! I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! Chuck Bob came after ME! Not JUSTIN... ME!!!! He calls me up "...WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY....-bitch bitch bitch bitch-" Well I told him that I didn't fucking say anything and hes like ya right you fucking talk and this and that. I was trying to defend myself telling him I didn't fuckiung say shit and that I told Justin not to write the thing and I had to fucking yell him so long just to get my God damn name out of it!!!! Well Chuck Bob showed up at my house and I fucking told him I didn't say shit and would he listen? NO! Because he thinks hes fucking God!!!! I told him what I said and he doesn't believe me that that is all I said because why would Justin freak out about something like that? I DON'T KNOW MAYBE BECAUSE IF YOU'D FUCKING LISTEN TO ME I COULD TELL YOU! So I did I fucking told him its because of the shit he got involved with between Edge, Rikki and Justin and Justin thinks Chuck Bob is a fucking liar and me saying he said that he wouldn't date me because he thought I was unhappy was a fucking lie to and I know it wasn't! Then Rick fucking starts asking me why I was even talking about him and I fucking wasn't I asked Justin that simple question and that was it!!!! I'M SO SICK OF THIS FUCKING CHILDISH SHIT BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING THIS IS HORSE ASS FOR FUCK SAKES!




I think thats all but holy shit. GROW THE FUCK UP!

kill time

Today is a shitty day. This week has been a shitty week and this past month and so on... I just haven't had good luck lately.

In July I moved back home and all my mom did was fight with me. I had no job and all my Simcoe friends were long gone. I felt like I had no one. I got a job come August and I thought all was going well. I had met a man named Rick as well and fell head over heels. We dated for a week, broke up, 2 days later got back together, another week passed and we broke up and then a week later we got back together and then a week after that we broke up AGAIN... How much can a person take! We decided to be "just friends" as if that is humanly possible after falling for what I thought was the best thing ever. That lasted a week before he decided we couldn't hang out anymore and since then he's decided I'm acting weird and he thinks I'm crazy. While all this was happening my new job told me to go ahead and buy my new car... So I did. 25 days later the transmission blew and now I am kind of sort of suing them. So far, nothing. Then I went and bought another new car.... So now I have two new cars and only one works. Then the day before I was supposed to pick up my new-new car I got laid off and it was too late to go back on the sale for my new-new car so... Yes, I have two new cars. Now my ex-boss is denying ever telling me to go ahead and buy the car. A week later I got a new job and hopefully it lasts... but I doubt it the way my life is going lately. My trainer is hot... I have a crush on him but he has a girlfriend so thats out LOL... I just got a text message from Rick saying that he doesn't think Im crazy, just a little immature. WELL NO SHIT I'M 19 AND IF HE WAS IN MY SHOES HE WOULD BE CRAZY! Bah! My little brother keeps eating my food and stealinf my shit and going through my room and fighting with my and calling me names and I really want to punch him in the face and choke him... A LOT. Today I found a peep hole in my wall... that was obviously placed there on purpose. That bothers me. Why is it there? So my little brother can watch me do things? So he can see if I'm in my room so he can go through my stuff? WHO KNOWS! I covered it and now have initiative to fix up my bedroom. My mom is always yelling at me until I get over emotional and cry then she hugs me and says shes sorry. Daddy actually hugs me lately... Its weird and new to me but I like it. I feel like crying and I don't know why.

Yesterday I hung out with Cassie for the first time since highschool basically and I loved it. It had been way too long and I forgot how much fun we have together. She made me forget about all my worries and we even hung out with Amy... but I guess Amy doesn't like me anymore? I didn't do anything but whatever, I'm not going to be the ignorant one here. I wish life was a rainbow with a pot of hundos and a naked hot guy(disease free with his mouth sewn shut and a chain on his ankle) with a slice of blueberry pie.. Sadly its not and I'm going to have to deal with all this junk on my own.